Thursday, 30 April 2009

A tag and a confession!

A very thoughtful surprise on Monday morn... Tagged by one of the bloggers I treasure Kochuthresiamma.

Feelings: Intoxicated ‘n excited, cause now I know what the Oscar winners feel when their names are announced...he he he ;-). Humbled, cause I have only begun blogging. Appreciated ‘n a vi bit motivated to say the least.

Now for the catch that comes with the award. A fore warning!!

“This award is bestowed upon a fellow blogger whose blog’s content or design is, in the giver’s opinion, brilliant.”“When accepting this auspicious award, you must write a post bragging about it, including the name of the misguided soul who thinks you deserve such acclaim, and link back to the said person so everyone knows she/he is real. Choose a minimum of seven (7) blogs that you find brilliant in content or design. Or improvise by including bloggers who have no idea who you are because you don’t have seven friends. Show the seven random victims’ names and links and leave a harassing comment informing them that they were prized with Honest Weblog. Well, there’s no prize, but they can keep the nifty icon. List at least ten (10) honest things about yourself. Then pass it on!”

With that out of the way, here I begin..

  1. The reason I began this blog was, cause I thought/ know that I have lots of stories of people or my so called real life angels, who have touched me in some way. (And since I no longer dwell/ traverse among them, I was a little worried that I would slowly forget them.) Especially the ones who moved to somewhere special. If only writing about them would make them immortal. Now, am not so sure if I will be able to do justice either.
  2. By far one of my biggest fear is that I may not remember the sound of my dad’s voice, the way his hand looked, how his skin felt, his smell, his very peculiar sneeze, how his little finger felt when I held it, our little walks to the ‘tattu kada * aunty who sold ‘vadas and mulaga baggis’*. Just writing this piece down makes me wana cry and there is this huge thing stuck at my throat.
  3. I believe in ‘soul mates’ and I have found my personal angel and my soul mate in one.
  4. If you have heard that faith can move mountains, I say IT DOES. Faith, has helped me move and traverse through unbelievable place, among people outcast, when being there, has only brought fear to me and the people who love me. Yet once those barriers broke, there was no fear and no going back. And I have seen ‘change’ in the process and in the making. (Yep, I know thats the new catch word with the Obama Admin and ofcourse politicians world over.)
  5. If I hadn’t met my ‘kettiyon’*, I might have sent one sane man to the asylum ;)
  6. I have a tremendous sense of belief/ intuition and I have the courage to stick by it even when things around me are falling apart. Getting there has always been soo hard, that I have wondered if I was making the right choice. But, it always does turn out right.
  7. I was a self confessed feminist (ok, ofcourse not the extreme- radical). Somehow, right now, things seem a little different. I still believe that I am one, but being in a relationship, I understand the nuances and the dynamics much more. Following which there has been a few changes in my views/takes. (‘Kettiyon’* should be all thrilled. Hah! I can see his wicked smile) Btw, kettiyon is a fulltoo ‘ achayan’*;) . Now for those of you who know an achayan, you know how much I must have been badgered (dishom* Pishom*adie* idie* thoyi*) He he ;)
  8. After the hullabullo and the pre marriage issues, I believe that I have very successfully managed to ‘mani adichu ammayi ammeye kayil eduthu’ * Literally have my mom in law eating out of my hands ( Just hope she doesn’t read this ;)
  9. I’am a home maker (for want of a better term) and I can’t for the life of me believe (neither can anyone who know me) that I'm very comfortable, happy and have settled very well into my new found profession. Everyone including me thought that I would be this ultimate career woman, taking the development field by storm, which, believe me, I managed to do in a span of just a few years in the arena.
  10. I love life and believe in living it to the fullest. I believe that all that matters is the attitude. And faith, love, family ‘n friends keeps us going. I can laugh with all my heart until I have tears in my eyes and I can cry at the drop of a hat.... people, books, movies, anything. And when you live, 'Live Life King Ishtyle'! (that’s the new achaythi attitude, thanks to kettiyon)

Matlab/ meaning/ artham:

tattu kada * - a small roadside shop, that functions out of a four wheeled table sort of thing.

vadas and mulaga baggis* - a snack made from lentils and hot chillies; mostly deep fried.

kettiyon* - Hubby darling

achayan*- atypical Malayalee Syrian Christian man who owns a some*(left to interpetations) land; a little spoilt and by far a self confessed chauvinist, who has very clear ideas of the gender roles or so to say. ;)

Dishom* Pishom*adie* idie* thoyi* - unavoidable sounds which comes with the fight sequence; courtesy our Indian movies

Hey people, (mallus fraud ‘n true likewise) you are welcome to tweak the definitions.

Now for my fellow bloggers, to whom I award the ‘Honest Scrap Award’-

And the award goes to...... Attribution, CJ, Doc, Narial Chutney, Neers , Preetha Nair and Purple pitara..... for making me laugh, for making me cry, for taking me places and for showing me a little bit of your world. I trurly enjoy reading your posts.

A 'thousand apologies' and happy introspection!

Thursday, 16 April 2009

infinity ‘n stars..............’n i

.....for all the infinite possibilities that the stars hold,

 twinkling away.

.....for all the memories of childhood,

the mystical feeling.

.....for wanting to swing on a star,

‘n walk on the cloud.

.....for all the stories told by amma

to get me through a meal,

.....for all the dreams we share

under the light of the moon ‘n stars.

laying down on a clear night sky and wondering..

if they do talk to each other,

if only i could decipher.

.....for all the times i have found my answers,

just looking at them,

 enjoying each one of their twinkle.

.....for those endless wishes upon the stars.

.....for  each star..  an angel,

..... for all the times I miss those special people

who went somewhere special,

.....for i know they will always be angels.

i pray,

we shine forever,

bear light to those we cherish,

be the glow in the darkness.

 ‘n shimmer ‘n twinkle.

So here’s to all the stars who i spoke to, ‘n all the angels up there,

 i take on one of your names...

let me shine forevermore.........

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

'me' as I begin this blog...

A wife, a home maker, a daughter in law, a sister in law, for as long as I can remember have been a daughter, a sister, a friend, a spiritual being and for all  who don’t know, I have also been a person who has reached and held a thousand hands, who has managed to reach them through all the darkness, who held them so tightly that it always hurt me. All those unknown hands who have been purged by the fire of life and whose lives still reach out to a thousand others, who taught me that each one of us are angels of light ‘n life to somebody. Who taught me that there are those could give ‘n give ‘n continue giving, without anything in return. So here’s to them, all the unknown, faceless real life angels and my GOD whose amazing protection I have even through the most unimaginable times.

Wishing you 'Big Mud Puddles and Sunny Yellow Dandelions'!!!!!!

From trying to pick over a thousand thoughts on what my most ideal first post should be, and instead picking from one of them, I'm going to let this poem " Big Mud Puddles and Sunny Yellow Dadelions" do the talking. The authour is unknown, yet I somehow feel I have know her, met her many a times. It was send to me by one of my angel friend some years ago and it says most of what I wish for all of you. More than anything this poem is the ideal introduction to my blog.... to life 'n living though my eyes. 

Big Mud Puddles and Sunny Yellow Dandelions!!!
Authour Unknown

When I look at a patch of dandelions, I see a bunch of weeds that are going to take over my yard.
My kids see flowers for Mom and blowing white fluff you can wish on.

When I look at an old drunk and he smiles at me, I see a smelly, dirty person who probably wants money and I look away.
My kids see someone smiling at them and they smile back.

When I hear Music I love, I know I can't carry a tune and don't have much rhythm so i sit self-consciously and listen. 
My kids feel the beat and move to it. They sing out the words. If they don't know them, they make up their own.

When I feel wind on my face I brace myself against it. I feel it messing up my hair and pulling me back when I walk. 
My kids close their eyes, spread their arms and fly with it,  until they fall to the ground laughing.

When I pray. I say thee and thou and grant me this and give me that. 
My kids say, "Hi God! Thanks for my toys and my friends. Please keep the bad dreams away tonight. Sorry, I don't want to go to Heaven yet. I would miss my Mommy and Daddy."

When I see a mud puddle I step around it. I see muddy shoes and dirty carpets. 
My kids sit in it. They see dams to build, rivers to cross, and worms to play with. 

I wonder if we are given kids to teach or to learn from. 

I wish you Big Mud Puddles and Sunny Yellow Dandelions!!!