Wednesday, 18 November 2009

Goldiloks: a fairy tale no less

Madam M, to all those who meet her for the first time and to some of us it is M Didi. Goldilocks is what I will call her for you. She is by far one of the most exhuberant and eccentric people I have met in my life. And of all the others, she stands out. She is intresting, fun, lavish, generous and giving juxtapose it with eccentric, abusive, feared, revered, powerful, relentless, and a true bussiness woman.

I wish I could give her true name but then ........, though knowing her, I'am sure she wouldn't mind. She is a woman who has crossed the points of avarice, greed, agression, of being feared, being the violater, being abusive, someone who has realized and asked what more can power and money bring? Now she has moved to being a so called social worker and loves being reffered to as a 'samaj sevika'. She totally enjoys being in the league of the famous, helping someone or supporting a cause. A life beyond onself and for another.

Oh by the way, this feel that is there through the first two paragraphs are not my initial feelings of M didi. Before I met her, I had heard not so many nice things about her, one of it was 'to be dreaded'.

So picture our first meet, both of us very obviously suspicious of each other. Me from a society that supposedly hadn't know or seen much violence or abuse except for in the movies and from a very safe and secure family. Not that I said much, but the impression becomes obvious to anyone who has lived in the background of violence and abuse. And not to mention I was very determined and keen on making an inroad, burning with a passion to make a difference, not yet completely moluded by the NGO culture and I was there to talk about rights of the women and children around. A few meetings, a few talks, a few tactics and we hit it off. Most barriers crossed, no love lost and no wars won.

Frankly, I dont think she ever trusted me neither did I her, but we had a certian respect for each other, and that was enough to get us through and stick by each other. Except for the swords hanging over each other, the cops over hers and my NGO connections over me. In some sort of an usaid way, we knew each other and we were very careful around each other, very watchful as to not hurt each other's sentiments, and yet made sure we got our way or atleast reached a negotiation point.

Now if you want to get the true picture, and image of M Didi, imagine this. Every single day, M didi would dress up in the most fanciest of sarees or salwar kameez, which cost an average of 10k to 25k, with a whole lot of gold which approximately could have weighed in kilos, ofcourse spread from head to toe. She had golden red hair. She usually carried a purse with lots of money, not sure how much, but any amount you asked. She had it at hand to give it to you. She never took much in writing but the people who borrowed were always very promt in returing. A warning for those who are already drooling, you cannot get within 20ft of her if you dont know her, black cats or white cats, they are there even if you cannot see them. Her average earnings and investments were high enough to make the Tata's drop their jaw. She has had a difficult past, was sold as a child, abused, worked her way out of bondage and paid up all her debts. She moved past all that held her, and worked her way up to the top of the lot, in the process ended up doing the same to many others. This is the point that fate brought us together. When I met M didi, she was right on the brink of wanting more meaning to life, and that process had already begun with her adoping a little girl . She dotted all her love on her and like any mother wanted the best for her. In the middle of that mess, a spotless clean place for that little angel.

Wondering why, I should write something about her, maybe only to tell myself that change is possible, hope always burns in the wierdest of places and it does burn bright.

Like I said, even after all this background, knowing her much more than I care to reveal, she is true flesh and blood. Wonderful, exhuberent, eccentric, business women now social worker, who managed to turn things around for herself and is now working at making it a better place for all those other women who have it tough in that same situation and for all those women who she herself put on the road to self destruction.

Hats off to you M Didi, you make me believe in people. You make me believe in hope in the most difficult and unimaginable places, in change, not in a day but in the process itself which has been as enriching for me as it has been for you. God bless and cheers to more of you Goldilocks. A fairy tale no less.


  1. I wish i knew M didi. Sometimes we r like frogs in a pond , believing our problems to be the greatest and totally falling back on slef-pity feeling that the whole world had been unfair to us.

    It's one thing to read and hear about people like the wonderful lady you mentioned above , and totally a different experience to really know them.

    You surely will wallow in self-pity every time something bad happens , but your subconcious will automatically remind you of people like Mdidi , whom you knotw and have really met ..and surely that will inspire you a bit....

  2. Nice dedication to your M didi :) She sounds truly inspirational.

  3. @ Gymnast: Have had the good fortune of meeting such individuals as a part of my work. It takes so much to keep all our conditioning and all that we have learnt out. And in the end we end up learning and changing much more than we would like to accept

    @ Dhanya: If you could see past her glitter, it can be very inspiring. As crazy as she sound, she is a totally cool lady.;)