Wednesday, 25 November 2009

On the lost list

I have a list, of things I have lost, being as careful and careless as I'm. There is that pencil box I lost in the 3rd std, that gold earing, that cycle that got stolen, those clothes, books, cassettes that was borrowed that never came back and many more. But then have you ever lost a friend? I have, not sure when and where.

How does one loose a living person... a friend? Am not so sure where she vanished. She wasn't just a mere acquiantance or one you just get along with. She was one of those friends I thought would last a lifetime, one you saw growing old with, catching up and talking about the long gone days. I still don't have an answer to .... how does something like this happen? And I'm blank on what to do about changing the situation. My address or numbers or email id's haven't changed and yet I wonder why she wouldn't want to keep in touch.

The last I met her was a shocker to her and to me, and in the process of recovering from it, she seemed to have moved places or shifted countries.

Meena was her name, she came from a very staunch Sunni Muslim family, this chubby girl with two pigtails, wearing a black burqa a the age of 12 was shy and versatile. Me: this absolutely cheerful, happy go lucky, never had to put in much efforts but always got my way through any situation kind of girl. We hit it of and were friends for a year. Then she moved school, we managed to meet up with her once a while, sent letters whenever possible etc. The next I heard was that she was involved with a new age socialist communist group, and was being considered as a next leader, one with a lot of potential. But then, family found out, put her unders some clerics and house arrest for a year. This only strove to raise her voice. (BTW a point to be noted, I still hadn't changed much, so the kind of vigour in thoughts and philosophies that she went through just flew past my brain.) This is the background to one of our last few meetings. Then I moved to Bombay, to do my post graduation. One very fine day, a few years past my post graduation, I get a call saying that she is back in our home town, married, an address was given, asking me to come see her.

First look, and I knew that something felt different. She seemed like this cleric woman, who at the age of 25 had gone on a Haj, and her world view was.... lets just say different. Beyond regonition for me, and the questions she asked, which I answered in a daze, all along trying to think if this is the same girl I knew or had met 13 yrs back. We haven't been in touch since then but this time it feels like I have lost her, not sure to whom or what, but I have.


  1. Yeah I know that feeling! People change so much over the years, you feel amazed that it's the same person you were so close with years ago. Oh well...

  2. It just happens! Sometimes, ppl CHANGE so drastically, it's tough to relate to them!

  3. Waited for your year-end/new-year post, but I don't thnk its gonna come anyyme soon. So:


  4. beautiful post. understand how you feel. last line - very pertinent questions.
    why no updates?
    happy new year!

  5. Happy happy new year to you too.... Sorry that I haven't been regular, still learning to balance. Have just posted a new one, hope and wish you loads of love and good things through the year. ;)